Archive for May 19th, 2008
Dear Ms. Hook,
If you happen to be dancing in a milonga, and happen to be a member of the couple behind me, and happen to feel my left arm accidentally brushing against your fingertips, because your Captain Hook happened to be walking backwards in the line of dance towards my Lover, and happened to get too close to us, by all means, curl your knarly fingers into crooked hooks, press your nails inwards deep into my skin, and be sure to s-c-r-a-t-c-h my forearm from wrist to elbow, as hard as you possibly can.
And then, if you please, stare at me through the narrowed slits of your eyes, and shoot me a psychotically malicious smile, so that I would be sure to know that you very much enjoyed the experience of letting my blood, and simultaneously (hopefully) branding my beautiful skin for life.
I must inform you, however, that as delicious as I may look on the outside, I assure you that I make for a lamentable boudin amarilla. I believe your friends, the Mosquitoes, may have advised you otherwise. But do not believe them.
It is a well-known fact that members of the canine species, particularly its female members such as yourself, are prone to putting themselves in embarrassing situations, for example, eating your own shit, or attempting idiotic culinary endeavors, such as the case in point.
So here is a word of advice:
Next time, the only thing on the Menu that will be garnished with blood, will be my famous Knuckle Sandwich Made Just For You.
Your’s truly,
Nuit.
